The people are excited. The people are very excited. Or at least that’s what DB Breweries Senior Marketing Manager, Cormac van den Hoofdakker would have you believe. And what are you so excited about? You, my basic friend, are excited about the launch of White Claw in Aotearoa.
It all started when, according to DB: “eagle-eyed Kiwis spotted the iconic white and black White Claw cans in the hands of well-known New Zealanders including pro surfer Ricardo Christie, singer Paige Tapara and pro Kiteboarder Marc Jacobs – but with no confirmed stockists in Aotearoa – an influx of enquiries, comments and questions began to flood the brand’s inboxes.” Or, to put it more simply, DB have convinced some minor slebs to shill for them and now for phase two of the fizzy-pop-piss hype-machine…
“We have underestimated the excitement and speculation the arrival of White Claw would cause amongst New Zealanders. While we’re not in a position to launch White Claw nationwide for another month or so, as a gesture of goodwill to fans of the brand we’ve committed to launching our ‘First Wave’ concept store in Newmarket,” parps a breathless Cormac in his press release. How very nice of them to think of us.
Lingering questions? Yeah, we do.
Real people reviews:
Not really findng that sufficiently mean we turned to Reddit. Here are some sample reviews:
“It tastes like TV static with someone shouting the name of a fruit in the next room” TheRealDudeMitch
“Cheap alcohol and artificial flavorings in some carbonated water” JamesStrangsGhost
“It tastes like all the bad decisions you’ve made in your life inside of a can” Dricalgary
“It’s like putting your tongue on a 9 volt battery” charmingcactus
Believe the hype, New Zealand.