Iceberg victorious in titanic struggle with Truss: A big week for salad.

by | Oct 21, 2022 | News

A head of iceberg lettuce has outlasted British Prime Minister Liz Truss in what is being seen as a victory for salad vegetables everywhere. In response to the Economist joking earlier in the month that Truss’ stint as Prime Minister had “roughly the shelf-life of a lettuce”,  The Daily Star newspaper set up a livestream of the lettuce in a blonde wig to see if it would outlast the embattled Tory leader. As the PM tendered her resignation overnight, the lettuce was looking a little brown around the edges but still in good enough nick to be declared the emphatic winner of this peculiarly British competition. The lettuce can now be seen sporting a crown on top of its blonde wig.

This caps a huge week in the news for salad. The iceberg’s victory over Truss follows revelations regarding a salad dressing recipe, a disgruntled nanny, and the Olivia Wilde/ Jason Sudeikis/ Harry Styles love triangle. The Feed approached Wilde’s people to enquire about an interview but they wouldn’t lettuce.

 

 

 

About the Author

David Wrigley

David is a writer and musician from Kemureti/ Cambridge. He has been published in Noble Rot, Nourish Magazine, Turbine|Kapohau, New Zealand Poetry Yearbook, and is currently working on his first novel. He has done his time in restaurants in Aotearoa and the UK. Oh, yes. He has done his time.

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